Thursday, February 11, 2010

my life as an army life

As an army wife I've learned to be more independent then ever. I'm never comfortable in the house alone with repairmen but with husbands gone months at a time. I've learned how to hang pictures, unclog toilets, fix broken things, put shelves together. Pretty much what other wives leaves for husbands. Ask any military and she'll tell you its nothing. Its a way of life to deal with the wifey and hubby duties. Whether its around the house, raising kids, its just what we do. There's days I wish he could lift something heavy and move it but I tell myself he leaves soon so I gotta get used to doing everything. So I carried the drawers to the garage or moved the heavy box or object. Don't think I'm complaining. Though in a way I am. I'm just realizing how different my life is then a 9-5 working marriage. I stay home and cherish every moment with my husband, not knowing when he'll be gone again. I never take a minute for granted. I clean house, cook, bake and then when he's gone I do everything and most the time he's gone more then here between trainings and deployment, etc. Its a difficult life; military life. But I wouldn't change it for the world. But sometimes the tears are just overwhelming. Saying goodbye, not knowing when or IF you'll see him again. If the goodbye kiss you give and receive will be the last one. You start thinking about everything you did and said leading up to the goodbye. Was I too bitchy? Did our last fight hurt him? Did I say I love you enough? Will he still love me when he gets home? How can I get through this?! The questions we don't know how to answer. I hate when I'm called strong because I'm not. I'm emotional. I start stupid fight. I snap at him for no reason. But I love him so much I don't want to let him go. I don't want to go 6 months without seeing him and then only getting 2 weeks before another 6 months pass. I just want to wake up every morning beside him and get that before you brush your teeth kiss that only a wife and husband ever really understand. I hate going days with out hearing from the one I love most. I hate spending days worrying. But I've learned other wives become your family. You can call and cry, vent and they understand. It does make things a little more bearable. But the best part of him being gone, is the homecoming. when you run into his arms and hug, kiss and cry. Then you become newly weds again. Learning each others routines and etc. Life is hard but there's always a happy ending. Keep friends and family close. Keep your faith and keep busy. Send letters, emails of your days. Just pray every night and every morning. Make everyday a day you can share with hubby. Things are never so hard alone. Keep God in your life and you'll make it. Keep your love strong!!!


tiggysmum70 said...

Amen Sister!!! I was there myself! HUGS!

** word verify--- auddi... ROFL